maybe i’m a goddamn bleeding heart hippie liberal but i’m totally down with paying an extra .50 cents for a thing of fries if the person who makes me those fries doesn’t have to work 3 jobs just to survive.
It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.
A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.
Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.
You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.
Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.
Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.
I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.
You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see. You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s by Ryan O’Connell (via daily-revivals)
Anonymous asked: does it feel weird to you that your boyfriend is so much older? or does it not matter? are you guys at the same place in your life ?
The age difference does not bother me in the slightest! I have always been mature for my age, so I’ve always been attracted to people who were older than I am. The only time the age thing even comes up is when I tease Will about being an old man because his hair is graying, but that’s all in good fun.
I wouldn’t say we’re at the same place in our lives, because I attend a university and live on campus (and stay at my mother’s house when I’m home the majority of the time) and I work part time and I’m still financially dependent on my parents, whereas Will lives on his own (well, with roommates) and pays bills and works all the time. That being said, I think we’re in the same place mentally and that’s what makes us work despite the handful of conditions working against us.
Anonymous asked: Anonymous asked: Hi! I have a social psych project and I need to ask random people a few questions. Do you mind answering them? Well if you can here they are (these relate to your current or last relationship): 1. How old were/are you two? 2: How long were/are you dating? 3. Who was more laid back and who was more controlling in the relationship? 4 When you held hands, who had the overhand grip? 5. Who had the more dominant personality in the relationship? Thank you so much!
I can answer them about my current relationship! :)
1. I’m 18 and my boyfriend is 23 (he’ll be 24 in January).
2. We’ve been dating officially since July 22nd, although we were essentially a couple as soon as mid-June. Almost 5 months in and we’re going strong.
3. My boyfriend is definitely more laid back than I am as a person in general, but I wouldn’t say that I’m more controlling in our relationship. There isn’t really a “controlling” nature in our relationship; we just flow together really well.
4. I guess we alternate who has the overhand grip when we hold hands, but it’s primarily him because he has bigger hands than I do so it feels more natural for him to have the overhand grip.
5. Again, I wouldn’t say either of us has a more “dominant” personality in the relationship. I think he has a stronger personality than me in general, but I don’t think he dominates our relationship. We contribute rather equally and we’re really cohesive. :)
Thank you for choosing me to ask, and good luck! I’m always happy to talk about my relationship.